Deciphering the Current “Intuitive”

Gripe with me for a moment here, please.

My email provider did some updates to the user interface. It’s now more “intuitive” than before, which is a good thing, because I’ve finally figured out where all the buttons got moved to after the last upgrade, so I’m glad they’re freshening it up a bit. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH. Don’t you ever feel like Kevin Bacon at a frat party?

thank you sir may i have another

As soon as your brain gets totally used to the new location of the different features you use, you log in and get a perky little message that things have been streamlined for your convenience. Every time it happens I tell myself that I will be a good sport and just deal with it. Then two seconds later, after I’ve torn out several fistfuls of hair, I swear that I am GETTING A DIVORCE FROM THIS COMPANY, and there it ends. Of course I never leave. Who has the energy to restructure their email routine? But they’re so in-your-face about how little they respect their users. I have a great idea for Google’s next slap in the face product: Google Cycles!

google cycles

Google can filter all female users’ email and chat messages by keyword to pick out time slots of the most emotionally charged
conversation and block off week-long segments to barrage us with targeted ads for Tampax! Boyfriends and male coworkers could sign up for a monthly reminder service and get little warning emails on the day before, and local chocolatiers can buy timed ad space! Isn’t this a great idea? I mean, I can’t imagine how they could get more intrusive than they are now, so why not?

I know, I know. They all do this. Remember this little bit of awesomeness? It’s just the way it is. The bottom line is, I’d rather have the infrastructure of a large company and tolerate the disrespect, but sometimes I wanna just pull a Ron Swanson:

The corporate rudeness is really exhausting. Am I overreacting? Do you get like this? Does it bug you too? And if so, have you ever actually left a big service provider over corporate disrespect?

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2 Comments »

  1. My grandmother’s Google Earth address shows her bending over in the garage to pick something up; yes, Google has proprietary rights to my grandmother’s bum.

    • kirinjirafa Said:

      LOL! (that really isn’t very funny, is it?)


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