Archive for Stuff That I Think Is Funny

Facebook is Stealing My Umbrella

When I was a little girl, my family had a poetry anthology with this little number in it:

The rain it raineth on the just
And also on the unjust fella;
But chiefly on the just, because
The unjust steals the just’s umbrella.

-Charles Synge Christopher Bowen

We kids used to laugh about it because it sounded so funny. As an adult, I can see a little more of the point the writer was making.

The rain it raineth on the just

The rain it raineth on the just

And also on the unjust fella;

And also on the unjust fella;

But chiefly on the just

But chiefly on the just

Because the unjust steals the just's umbrella.

Because the unjust steals the just’s umbrella.

It is so often that the person who’s just doing his job, living his life, has to carry the person who is not. Isn’t it funny (or not funny) how often the unjust then wastes the resources someone else produced and then turns around to demand more?

just unjust panel 5

So now Facebook is being called out, yet again, for (allegedly) violating people’s privacy by scanning messages marked private and selling user demographics from them. It bothers me when companies do things like that- the rule of law is a valuable principle, and should be cared for and respected. When people abuse the legal system like this, the end result to the rest of us is new legislation. Laws piled on top of laws to clarify the mountain of laws we’re all already buried under. When this is finally brought to that point, the corporate fatcats at Facebook will have no new opinion about my privacy, nor will they decide that they now have enough money. They will find a new loophole, and continue on. We will all have some new legislation, whether it will directly affect us or not.

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Guest Speaker Bingo!

guest speaker bingo

We had a special service today to welcome in our new senior pastor and his family, and it was lovely. In honor of the occasion, we brought in a special speaker who discussed 1 Thessalonians 2 and how we should relate to a pastor. He commented on the need for the Church to be wise about what we believe with the current culture around us, quipped about how he was planning to preach for a really long time, and gave me some good things to think about. He also gave me the idea for this Bingo card. I wonder if that speaks ill of my attention span or maturity level or something, but then that happens a lot when I blog things I think are kind of funny.

Click here to download a set of cards you can print off for your next guest speaker!

**Update: “compliments” oops.

The Ready to Wear Fashion Industry Likes Playing Headgames with People.

I’m not sure which is more aggravating- the fact that the clothes I buy are all, officially, coming from the XXL hangers or the fact that I always seem to end up buying them from a ninety-pound high schooler who tries to pretend like she’s sympathizing with me even though we both know she hasn’t hit her college belly fat growth spurt yet.

clothing store 1

clothing store 2

clothing store3

When Brain Lets Mouth Take the Wheel

brain let mouth take the wheel

I had a conversation with my mom recently about times when our mouths take control from our brains.

Suni and My Kitchen Cabinets

So I had Suni (one of my little herd of sugar gliders) out on my shoulder today as I worked on something in the kitchen. I was looking down when I felt her leap up, off of my shoulder. When I looked up, this is what I saw.

suni peaking over the cabinet 1

So cute. Oh my, so so cute. Heaven help me, this animal is so cute.

suni peaking over the cabinet

Transcript of an Actual Conversation

This is an actual conversation that took place where I work. It is slightly edited, but not much. I thought it would make a good comic strip.

bad day 1

bad day 2

bad day  3

Gladly, the Bear with Crossed Eyes

Happy Sunday, everybody- here is another crop of my Sunday morning sketches.

If you’ve been in a Christian church that sings traditional hymns, you know this gag isn’t original to me, and if you have never been in one, there’s a song called “Gladly the Cross I’d Bear.” It’s a classic misunderstanding for little Baptist kids to hear it and think this:

gladly, the cross eyed bear

When I was a kid, there was one hymn that confused me for ages. It was called “When the Roll is Called Up Yonder” (“up yonder” meaning up in Heaven). As a little girl, for years, I heard “When the Roll is Called a ‘Pyawnder'” and I could not figure out what it meant. Having two older siblings, though, my assumption was that whoever was saying the roll was a pyawnder must not have liked it (presumably a jealous lesser pastry). I figured “pyawnder” must have been something hurtful.

the roll is called a pyawnder
I always felt a little bad for the roll. Yes, this is a true story.

spring sketches

These are doodles from the Sunday School roster- mostly as Spring has begrudgingly begun to hit Chicago. I can’t remember what inspired my little commentary on clowns there, but I stand firmly behind the statement nonetheless. There’s also a sugar glider paper doll set that I’ve never cut out and tried, so I don’t know how well the pieces fit her.

alice paper doll

She has a party outfit, a comfy terry cloth robe with bunny slippers, and a gardening ensemble. If you put one together, could you let me know if it works or not?

Deciphering the Current “Intuitive”

Gripe with me for a moment here, please.

My email provider did some updates to the user interface. It’s now more “intuitive” than before, which is a good thing, because I’ve finally figured out where all the buttons got moved to after the last upgrade, so I’m glad they’re freshening it up a bit. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH. Don’t you ever feel like Kevin Bacon at a frat party?

thank you sir may i have another

As soon as your brain gets totally used to the new location of the different features you use, you log in and get a perky little message that things have been streamlined for your convenience. Every time it happens I tell myself that I will be a good sport and just deal with it. Then two seconds later, after I’ve torn out several fistfuls of hair, I swear that I am GETTING A DIVORCE FROM THIS COMPANY, and there it ends. Of course I never leave. Who has the energy to restructure their email routine? But they’re so in-your-face about how little they respect their users. I have a great idea for Google’s next slap in the face product: Google Cycles!

google cycles

Google can filter all female users’ email and chat messages by keyword to pick out time slots of the most emotionally charged
conversation and block off week-long segments to barrage us with targeted ads for Tampax! Boyfriends and male coworkers could sign up for a monthly reminder service and get little warning emails on the day before, and local chocolatiers can buy timed ad space! Isn’t this a great idea? I mean, I can’t imagine how they could get more intrusive than they are now, so why not?

I know, I know. They all do this. Remember this little bit of awesomeness? It’s just the way it is. The bottom line is, I’d rather have the infrastructure of a large company and tolerate the disrespect, but sometimes I wanna just pull a Ron Swanson:

The corporate rudeness is really exhausting. Am I overreacting? Do you get like this? Does it bug you too? And if so, have you ever actually left a big service provider over corporate disrespect?

panel 1

panel 2

panel 3

Duckling Waterslide

This is what the world has been needing, folks. Here it is.

duckling waterslide

Baby duckies with their own waterslide!

*I used to have this embedded as a Youtube Clip, but apparently the user made it no longer embeddable or something, so I’m just gonna link, but it’s still worth seeing.

Stuff That Made Me Laugh Today

You have probably already seen these, but they made me laugh today, so here are funny notes from little kids. To every website I ripped them off of, I’m sorry I didn’t link back. You probably ripped them off of someone else anyway. Somewhere back home, either my mom or my aunt has a hand written note my dad wrote when he was a little boy apologizing to his mother for wishing she were dead… I think he was about seven when he wrote that, and now I want a digital copy of it.

apology

dinos

genie lamp

giraffe

invisible

new shoes

putting nature aside for tv

stapler

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